It's Funny

These wispy things that take me back to you:
a sip of ice water,
cracked mud,
desperation on the coast,
a song that our souls disagreed,
strange tubes.

Your eyes aren't on my pages,
and I took that same old route which pangs me.
Our little men are gone.
Breathing and walking in two,
nervous, taciturn fingers,
when we're really alone, I'll tell you everything I couldn't feel

Snow

You know the cold bite, you know the infinite joy,but it all feels brand new.
You know this time you can deal with the cold,
that your fingers will be warm,
in good time.

I'm afraid

I'm afraid of who I may become,
of who I am,
of who I am becoming,
not that in my eyes I feel unfavorable, but just because I could be. And may not even know it.
I'm afraid I will break his sensitive calm self.
I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to see you again,
or that I am and when I do see you, my new and strong fortress will collapse into a pile of bricks and my legs will turn to jelly.
I'm afraid that I'm walking down the wrong road, with the wrong person waiting for me,
but the other option is invisible and impossible to decode. 
Why so scared?
What is there to fear?
If you don't like who you are, change
If love leaves you tired, then start over again (for yourself)
If you go down the wrong road, turn back around, take a detour, or chase a secret.
If you crumble and liquefy, then slip between the floorboards and say goodbye (for yourself)
Build yourself back up again, but remember to leave the door open.  

I now

Understand the expression, "weak in the knees"

Free!

Oh! Free at last.
Just as I wished.
Ripped off, by a pirate's mate and an old part of me.
A part of me that was there, wrapped on my finger long before you tied yourself around my wrist.
Though, free as I may be,
I miss your looks.
I miss your lips.
I wish I could be comfortable.
I wish I could linger.
Though it was no longer,
and its always warm to look back,
though frigid as I mostly felt.
So free as I am, free from your grip,
your eyes seem imprinted in my skull and I can't help but compare.
but I've let you go from me,
and we are free.

I don't know

I wish I could say that I did, but I really don't know. 
I'm on the edge, I'm on the rocks,
I can never really decide, whats in my heart, in my mind,
How relevant to find that question mark in the sky.
I'll teeter totter, perhaps I'll never grow up, perhaps I'll never know.
Yeah I've changed, and maybe grown, but I still don't really know.
Can I blame it on a comfortable silence? Just to say its okay?
I want to feel it, feel it right in my gut and know.
Ignorance or shame, I'm just a child, playing a game
Gosh, I wish, I wish on that question mark in the sky, that I knew, and that I could decide.
I felt, I felt in that moment, that perhaps I might break your heart, or worse, tear you apart.
I don't even know
you.
I don't even know what to do.

A lil' unfinished fragment

Seems I'm most creative when I have essays to write... Oh well!


The Past and Pending:

There was a time was I was afraid to even breathe

Though I’m not quite sure what came over me

It’s as if I thought, that if I turned the corner blindly,

 red corn syrup would spill right out of me

 

Oi

Lack of concentration, lack of motivation,
why does it have to be the end of the world every time?
why do you bring love as pain instead of flipping and skipping with joy?
Oi.